понедельник, 20 октября 2008 г.

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So today. Okay well yesterday since itapos;s 12:31am. Either way MONDAY my grandmother died. Which is all sad and everything like that, I�just havenapos;t gotten to the mourning. The funeral is going to be on November 10th or 11th I�canapos;t remember what was said.
Either way. Iapos;m not feeling the tears yet, or the sadness really. So I�donapos;t know how this is going.

SHIT Nothing makes sense.FUCK

What if I�see my mother? I canapos;t see that witch. Fuck I�just canapos;t. Oh my god. I�NEVER�FUCKING�THOUGHT�ABOUT�THAT
God dammit. I�donapos;t want to see the lady who called the cops on me. I�donapos;t want to see her, at all. Ever again. No thank you.

Wow. My life just got a little worse. I�dunno.

Random thought: How does one become a body guard?


Iapos;m off to bed. Cause fuck Iapos;m tired, and I�canapos;t think. I�just canapos;t do it. I�canapos;t no. My brain is going to explain. Fuck.

I miss Janelle.

Come save me from walking off a windowsill or Iapos;ll sleep in the rain.



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суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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����� I will put together the two drama classes we have just had into ONE mega blog entry. Well, not really.

���� In class, as usual we worked on the "Good Woman of Setzuan." For me, the pace is really fast. We have to memorize so many lines so fast. Iapos;m so worried. Also, iapos;ve looked into Brecht theatre and I have absolutely no idea how to portray this character. I�wanted to dig deeper and find out how much change she/he has in her/his pocket, but apparently we should not do that. Basically, me being clueless as to what this character feels internally, is just what i want. Iapos;m so confused though. For now, iapos;m just going to memorize my lines and hope that whatever i do is Brecht.

��� We had Brecht exercises the other day. The first was where we had to sing first then later do actions only, from about 250 meters away. It helped in focusing, concentrating and also it guided me to thinking: Brecht is like charades. The overall point is to get the message across. Iapos;m prety good at charades. Or at least was. Iapos;m very nervous about this.
��� Another game was we had to portray what it was to be certain things, like in our case, "Jealousy". I�guess that did help me to understand it better. As far as i understood, iapos;m getting a bit rattled. We portrayed jealousy with eyes big and arms reached out. Ms. Keefe had said it was a bit unclear because she hadnapos;t understood it.
����� How should have we portrayed jealousy? If i were crying in a certain scene, which i will be, will i put my hands near my face and keep rubbing it to signify tears? Is that brecht or just normal? I think if it were Stanizlavski, i would have just turned away from Yang Sun. These are the kinds of querries that are driving me bananas I guess I havenapos;t seen many stereotypical gestures, or maybe I just choose not to remember. Itapos;s convoluded that way. I hope iapos;ll get the hang of it soon. Ms. Keefe says itapos;s easier, but somehow Iapos;m feeling the opposite.

**Another fear i have: We might portray it so well that the audience really wouldnapos;t connect and theyapos;d have so many questions, that they would call this play a bad one. I donapos;t know. Because for me, I�really doubt iapos;m mature enough to watch these plays, questioning in a good way. In fact, Itapos;s never good for me when I question. =)

��� The next class was scene run throughs again. We tried some warm up games like the "pary host" one from Whose line is it anyway. The verdict. It did not turn out that well. All of the groups hadnapos;t presented and to be most frank, it was very difficult to take it seriously. I laughed. Which i feel horrible about because dedication to a character, can bring the funniest outcomes. The people are so dedicated sometimes that they play the role so unbelievably uncannily, itapos;s funny. Plus, a good drama student should focus. I dropped the ball there.
After we had run throughs, all of us were slightly out of it. It was, after all, a friday and the lines werenapos;t down yet. Weapos;ll learn from this. Weapos;ll get better. Thereapos;s no place to go, but up.

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Well, the perm didnapos;t come out like I thought it would. The rods were too big and all I have now is a little more body to my hair. Weapos;re going to redo it in a few days with smaller rods. Ah, ya live and learn. Iapos;m really enjoying spending the evening with my sponsee family. Great gals, really. T and I will finish going over step 6 on Tuesday.
Canapos;t wait to go to the pumpkin farm tomorrow

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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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Taking Pipsqueak to the V-E-T to be spayed. If they can do it in the same visit, sheapos;ll also get her boosters.

The office is of good repute, and my parents appreciated their help and compassion on both matters large (tooth extraction for a cat) and small (how to treat a hamster with scraped knees.)

Even so: this kittenapos;s going to be pissed. Canapos;t say I blame her. I donapos;t like doctor visits either.
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